Lightness feels like forgetting to check what you look like in the mirror. Lightness feels like laughter being pulled from you with ease; like a smile erupting from the centre of your face and tickling your cheekbones as it stretches upwards. Lightness feels like holding hands and toes wriggling under bed sheets. It feels like a song you’ve never heard before but know the words to somehow. Birds singing in the morning, an “I’m thinking of you, have a good day” text, a smile from a stranger you return without pausing, a desire to break into dance spontaneously. It’s the way day pulls night into day again and returns it to the sky so the sun can rest. It’s big plans that require less planning and more doing. The 6 am wake up that becomes a 5:30 am wake up. Letters that you store for years and don’t have to look at once to remember how receiving them made you feel. It’s the thought that assures you that ‘Ah well, life goes on’ with hope and dexterity. The hug that creates laughter because neither want to let go but both feel as if they’ve held on for too long.
It’s the space you create for yourself. Saturday nights in. Calling your grandparents on bushy tailed Sunday mornings just to say you love them. Riding your bike to a friend’s house. Snacking on fresh fruit and ice cold water when you’re hungry. Cooking with company. Cooking to Cuban jazz music. Pushing through the first 100 pages of the book until you catch your flow. Red wine to accompany conversations about the mysteries of life. Ocean swims to flush everything away.
It’s remembering you needn’t mind what anyone else is thinking about you, and even less so if they’re attempting to disrupt you in your movements. It’s the choosing to let go when history is knocking on your door again and demanding to be acknowledged; when others are involved, wish them well and hope they can know themselves better soon. Distance from others doesn’t have to be spiteful nor does it have to be lonely. Welcome tomorrow as a day with even more opportunities than today. The possibility of goodness is infinite if you dare open the door for yourself. It can be frightening shutting doors behind you, but if you prepare for the worst, giving even the tiniest bit of hope to the best, I’ve found it to be most true that anything worth having will often meet you ten doors down the way.